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Recently I’ve been made aware that a drastic shift has to occur in women in order to unlock the love needed in our love lives.  Below I’ll outline the kinds of changes we can make to increase our feminine power as women, thereby magnetizing the very lives and love we desire!  Soon I’ll place a petition on this page to be signed by women who agree to the protocol so we can stand in solidarity on this front!

Current Landscape

Currently women find it challenging to get a man to committ to the terms and agreements we need to feel safe in relationships.  We attract men, some of which seem like possible life partners, some of which don’t.  Either way, of the ones we like, we begin the process of analyzing the bahaviors and actions of these men, longing for them to choose us and to committ to an exclusive relationship – preferably for life.

This behavior begins very young.  We’re told not to “give it up” until Mr. Right comes into the picture and is ready to respect and honor us – prefereably for life.  We’re told to participate in games of all manner in order to achieve this with a given man.  We’re told to withhold sex, to play coy, to not reach out to him too much, not be too agressive… so forth.  So we hold ourselves in, similar to holding in a gut that’s alive with loose, protruding, energy!

In this way we stagnate our magnetism as men can sense our anxst and ill ease.  In this way we scare off men who would love to give us gifts of pleasure and power.  In this way we go from one good situation turned bad to the next, trying to figure out why relationships aren’t working for us… right?  And often these aren’t even men we chose in the first place!

What’s Missing?

This old paradigm is sinking women into deep burial spaces for the soul.  We can no longer ride this wave of caution, drama, anger, resentment, and lack of fulfillment.  We have to agree to something new.

Some of you may know the story of my marriage… briefly I’ll say that I met my husband for the first time on the very same evening I had another date.  I enjoyed time with both men that day.  I made love to the second date who happens to be a jazz drummer – yum!  Two days later my husband to be called for a second date.  At that time we went out and he swept me off my feet!  I made love with him that very evening and tossed my entire self into enjoying every inch of him and our times together.

I told him on our third date, while swinging on a swing, that I was totally “addicted” to pleasure and loved to make love.  I told him I’d bedded 80 men in my years (I was just 21 then) and that I was now looking to settle down and have some babies… giggle.  I told him he’d need to understand these things.  And if he just wants to have sex, then we can do that too, just as friends.  But I was authentic in that I told him I was seeing other men, but was looking to settle down.

If this ran him away, so be it.  His loss…  If my expansive desire for sex and touch was ‘too much’ for him, so be it.  There would be more where he came from.  Shoot.  Eight short weeks later, we were engaged.  He chose back!

The New Idea

I share this story to demonstrate the new idea – the Choose Your Man idea.  I was choosing him at that point.  And he had the option to choose back or not, no hard feelings either way!  But I wasn’t going to play a game, act coy, try to figure out when to text, when to call… Even at that time, I was just beyond it.  I’d done it and it was DONE.  No more.  As you know, 17 years later, here we are.

So the New Idea is simple.  Women are the choosers of men.  We have to take this new position in order to right some of the wrongs happening in our love lives today.  We have to know that there is plenty of love out there, and plenty willing men to bring us their adoration and love.  No problem!

Theories like “The Rules” which proclaim the ways a woman should act coy, bitchy, or aloof are just symptoms of a larger issue.  The issue is men feel they should choose.  Well I’m here to say – NO WAY do men choose.  Women choose, men choose back. Period.  So in living this new idea and bringing you women on board with me here, we can rebalance the scale, shift reality, and put men back into their rightful place of honor.

How Do We Do This?

Well here are a few protocols for how to place yourself into the position of chooser and find the power and dignity there…

1. Be authentic from the start.  Share your stories, your dreams, your love desires and your past with your partner from day one… if that scares him away – his loss.
2. Use Womb Choice to pick your men, never allow a man to choose you.  When a man chooses you you’ll have to play the cat and mouse chase game.  NO fun.
3. Enjoy this man as much as possible (or these men).  Do not allude to exclusivity at any time.  Enjoy them and if they ask if you enjoy others, of course you stay authentic.  Feel free to let them know you embrace their freedom as well.
4. If it’s committment you desire then enjoy that man deeply… see how readily he wants to choose back and give himself to you in full service!  It will shock you!
5. No need to drop your other men until he is ready to put a ring on your finger, if that’s what you want.  At that time you can ask him what his concepts are about exclusivity.
6. Use the four gender roles as your guide, Visionary (complete trust in the universe, thus your men), Devotee (follow this man’s advise and suggestions for you), Lover (be pleasable in every way, enjoy your time with him without placing demands of any sort), Conservationist (practice RADICAL self care, don’t neglect any other portion of your life to deal with him, rather encorporate him as you do everything else). 
7. Call or text whenever you want!  Enjoy the messages without expecting anything in return.  Send the messages and calls for YOU!  Get enjoyment out of reaching out and being vulnerable…
8. Try not to question him about things like where he is, what he is doing, so forth…, just focus on your personal relationship with him.
9. Finally, listen to this man.  Ask him his dreams, ask him about his past, connect with him through his stories, let his stories soothe you.  His stories are enough – you don’t need any more information about him than that.

I’m sure there are more protocols to consider, but these are the nine I can think of at the moment…

Choose Your Man Movement

If we can get 100 women to sign this petiion, and then move on to get 1000 women to sign it, then 100,000 women – I think we can make great progress in creating a world we’d want for our daughters.

We have to give away this notion that a man should respect us. No. We want a man to love us.  If we want love from a man, then we have to respect and honor him for the gifts he can give us rather than pinning him in and forcing him to say yes to giving things he cannot and does not want to give.  We’ll find that men are VERY giving and only want to see women happy once we learn to enjoy the moments we have without demaning more.

Think of it this way.  Imagine you are giving your child the basics.  You work hard, you have alot going on, and you give your child the basics.  Well now imagine that the other children in her school has more.  So now she wants more more more!  She saw a commercial and now she wants this, that, the other!  She begin making demands, being rude, being unhappy and unsatisfied with you.  How do you feel, when you’re giving all you feel you can?  You wouldn’t be a happy camper and you would not be inclined to do the inner work it takes to produce more.  Right?

Now let’s say your child appreciates what you DO give… adores you for it, and hints at more by applauding your efforts and being grateful.  She always does her work and always is kind to you.  Now you feel deeply inclined to actually produce more!  Now you magically begin shifting in this child’s behalf.  It’s nothing the child has to say… you see the commercials and you see her eyes as she looks and loves those other things.  You see her friends wearing the latest cools stuff.  And if she never coplains or becomes indignant with you – you want to get it for her as soon as possible!  Yes?

So that’s the Choose Your Man Creed.  Choose em!  Be unafraid!  Be powerful in your feminine light!  Be magical as the Goddess you are.